Gone Fishin’, Back Soon

July 21, 2008

fishing_ps.jpgYou may have noticed I’ve been absent lately and the few of you who stop by now and again have my sincere apologies. I won’t bore you with my life except to say that a promotion to a new role at work has left me with far less time than I’d like to devote to ToxicKindness.

In addition to my day job, I’ve undertaken a new venture. Basically, I’ve realized that I don’t really enjoy what I do for a living. I’m good at it. I have a talent for working with people and I sincerely enjoy helping people. But I long ago stopped enjoying the field of work I’m in.

Join the club, right? Who doesn’t get fed up with their jobs. I agree. Only, in my own case, I’d like to at least take a shot at doing something about it and maybe help a few people out of their own career misery in the process. And, no, I don’t mean by finding yet another job doing more of the same elsewhere.

When you bottom line it, the companies we work for pay us less than we are worth. That’s fine. They deserve a profit, after all. They assume the risk of owning and running a company. They assume the expense of leasing office space. I’m ok with them getting their bonus. I’m not ok with the wholly imbalanced level of things in my particular case, though. There’s an imbalance in the world that keeps growing. The Haves keep getting more and the Have Nots keep finding themselves with less. Solution? Become a Have who sincerely wants to benefit the Have Nots.

I was researching consulting companies in the US and learned that a technology or financial consulting company paying an employee $50/hour is likely billing them out to clients for between $250-350/hour. Now, that employee probably doesn’t mind much if they don’t think about it. $50/hour is great money! But when you do the math and realize that she is worth 5 to 7 times what that company is willing to pay her, it deflates that bubble of satisfaction a bit, doesn’t it? And, no, that’s not my salary.

I decided my time is more valuable if applied to working for ME than it is when spent working for somebody else. I’ve also decided there are plenty ways to earn money out there and the internet is a resource that has made these options more attainable to your average person than ever before.

I further decided that it would be fun to try out different methods of earning money (on and offline) and learning from mistakes and experience (I love a good mistake now and again because that’s when you really learn things). Finally, I found myself grinning at the thought of how great it would be if my experiences could translate into learning opportunities for others. Wouldn’t it be incredible if something I tried, wrote about and explained in detail to others gave somebody I’d never met the opportunity to change their lives for the better?

If I earn a few extra dollars from my efforts, it’ll have been a fun experience. If I wind up earning a living from my efforts, it will have been a life changing series of events. If I help others accomplish the same along the way, I’ll feel my life has had a purpose beyond fixing somebody’s network a thousand miles away (yes I know the guy with the network problem is glad to have me around but that’s just not the legacy I want to leave behind).

I love helping people out. It’s just the best feeling in the world when you know you’ve changed somebody’s day for the better and that they are now likely paying the same forward. I enjoy it when I save an office, a business unit or even just a single person from some electronic hell they’ve found themselves in. But what if I could help a financially struggling family put a few extra meals on their table or to buy some extra toys for their kids? What if I could help a retiree who didn’t have enough saved in retirement to find a way to bring in an extra $20, $80, $500 or $5000 a month? What if somebody applies what I learn, strikes it rich and then feels he can finally afford to really make a difference with his favorite charity?

Money does not buy happiness. But to deny it is a vital component of modern living is to live in a dream world. When society has reached the point in which even WATER costs money, you know that the coin of the realm has been irrevocably interwoven into our lives.

So that’s what I’ve been up to lately, folks - building a new blog titled Self Employed or Bust with the objective in mind of finding my own financial independence and helping others do the same along the way. No, I’m not selling anything there. Every bit of advice will be offered free of charge and my earnings will only come from ad revenue and reviews (of things like books on the subject of finance). Maybe it’ll succeed, maybe it’ll flop. Either way, it will have been a worthwhile effort with some valuable lessons gained along the way and the potential to have helped others.

And if I make it… if my dreams come true and the hard work pays off, I hope to leave a trail of equally rewarded people along the way. All of them better off because I got a little too fed up with my job. Now that’s what I call a legacy.

But don’t worry, this isn’t goodbye. If anything it’s, “hi, I haven’t forgotten about ToxicKindness or the friends I’ve made here and I’ll be back more often as the ball gets rolling on this other thing.” So check back soon for more of my opinionated take on what a little love for others can do for the world. I’ll have more of it to spread around soon.

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Categories: business.

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Sometimes Winners Do Quit (Their Jobs)

July 15, 2008

2385389_ps.jpgQuitting is hard. I’ve even found myself struggling with conflicting emotions when departing a job I truly hated. True, freedom may be right around the corner, but there’s often something that kept us at our hellish job for as long as we were there.

Perhaps a single coworker you’ve befriended has made the job worth enduring. Sometimes a nice steady paycheck keeps you around despite your frustration with a psychopathic boss. Maybe the commute is great or the convenience to your spouse provides the perfect car pooling opportunity.

Whatever your reasons for sticking around at a job you truly despise, it’s almost always in your best interest to move on if you hate working there. A post at Self Employed or Bust entitled 10 Good Reasons to Quit Your Day Job does a good job of explaining what is and isn’t reasonable to endure.

The theme also touches on something I’ve argued here before - be kind to yourself. As noble as loyalty may be, it is as pearls before swine when applied to many modern businesses. Companies devoted to the bottom line and stockholder satisfaction care little about the workers who keep them in business. You are more deserving of your loyalty than they are.

If terminating those employees will add to a company’s revenue, expect it to happen. With that in mind, be kind to yourself and only extend deserved loyalty. Adhere to the rules, do the best you can while you work there but never pass up a better opportunity out of misplaced loyalty. Your company likely wouldn’t do you the courtesy if the roles were reversed.

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A Letter to My Wife

June 2, 2008

 There is you and then there is nothing. Absent you, no laughter, no smiles, no silliness, no joy. Absent you, no peace, no calm, no comfort. I found in you the lesson that we learn not only through adversity, but also through great fortune. I’ve found in you a lover, a companion, a confidant, a kindred spirit and a best friend.

You’ve taught me to laugh at myself. You’ve taught me to laugh at life. You’ve even taught me to laugh at others but to do so without malice or spite but, rather, with a light-hearted joy at the comedy that is life and the knowledge that we are all just pratfall actors in a sitcom.

You’ve convinced me to let my guard down again and have never once given me cause to regret it. You are the only one I ever completely relax around. You’ve shown me what unconditional love really is. You’ve filled my life with peace, comfort, contentment and joy.

You have filled the last emptiness in my life, bringing me a father, a mother, a sister and a brother. I never knew how empty my life was without them until you filled that void.

I see your infinite capacity for love every day you play with our dogs and cat. I see your nurturing and loving heart in your affection for them. I’ve never known as big or warm a spirit as yours. I’ve never known anybody who recognized the pure innocence in an animal’s intent the same way I do until I met you.

I never grow tired of being with you. I’ve never known anyone as expressive as you. I never grow bored of looking at you. When you aren’t aware, I sneak looks at you and grin as your face lights up during a funny show. When I’m not in the same room, I find myself smiling from the other room at the sounds of you cheering on the Yankees or laughing at sitcoms. Were you to go away forever I’d as soon be deaf. I couldn’t bear the absence of the sound of you in my life.

I’ve always wondered if there is a point in life when we recognize we’re done and have accomplished all the important stuff; found the end of the book and everything from that point forward is just plot wrap-up and decorative touches. That day came for me on a sunny day in late October 2000. It was the day I took the plunge, let down the last bit of armor, abandoned my fear-induced self-preservation tactics learned from one too many failed relationships and slipped a ring on your finger. The most important things in my life have been wrapped up. In all the years since that day I have never once regretted taking you as my wife. I have never wished for a different life. I have never felt more at peace. I have never been more in love.

This blog is about kindness. An outsider reading this might think I’m writing this post as a kindness to my wife. I’m not. I am, instead, celebrating the kindness she has shown me by letting me join her on the greatest journey of my life. One that feels like it only started yesterday and one I want to never see come to an end.

I love you, Kathleen. Thank you for filling up my heart. I’ve never loved a better woman and I’ve never had a better friend.

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Categories: Giving Thanks.

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