April 2, 2008
As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve endured a pretty rough series of weeks . Towards the end of the worst of the 3, I received an email from a colleague named Claudia requesting assistance. Though I was juggling multiple tasks and was already several hours past due to head home, I took the time to address the problem as I recognized a hint of desperation in her email. The effort required was minimal and it didn’t take long to find a solution so I was pleasantly surprised to receive a glowing response of gratitude a few minutes later. Claudia wanted to know if there was a manager to whom she could send an email of praise which I declined simply because the thank-you was already so considerate and such a rare treat in my line of work that it more than sufficed.
Imagine my surprise on receiving a bouquet of cookies delivered to my office the following week! The gift was such a fantastic surprise that I felt I had to note the example here because there’s a great lesson in this experience – helping somebody or performing a kind act may not always seem like that big a deal to you, but it may mean far more to the recipient than you could ever imagine. The work I did for Claudia wasn’t terribly taxing as I have over a decade of experience with precisely the problem to which she needed a solution. But to Claudia, the results apparently meant far more than I would have expected. The recipient of your help/ effort/ kindness may often see things in a totally different light.
Claudia reinforces what I keep repeating here – there are great people out there waiting both to receive and respond with kindness. Her gift of kindness for what I thought of as a relatively minor effort has served to energize me and keep me focused on the job ahead. Thank you, Claudia, for the wonderful gift, for your kindness, and for proving my point that there really is such a thing as karma!
Categories: Inspiration.
Tags: helping, karma, kindness
March 31, 2008
Ever done something kind and had it thrown back in your face? It’s amazing how quickly that can lead to a complete meltdown into rage. A few examples I’ve experienced -
On seeing a car with no visible handicap tags or hangtag pull into a handicap space and the occupants dash to the store I was entering, my friends and I spoke up and politely pointed out their error. The husband flew into a rage and yelled at us, spittle flying everywhere, that his wife (the driver) was a years long sufferer of an illness the name of which I can’t recall. Her reaction was to suddenly adopt a limp and a pained expression that were both conspicuously absent a few moments prior. It seemed they missed the point that somebody was looking out for their rights.
The traffic really piles up leaving my office especially as everybody tries to merge into the too-short turn lanes heading towards the beltway. I routinely leave room to allow a car in when the light changes and I’ve routinely experienced 2-3 additional drivers trying to butt in on the opportunity (this after they dodged the entire length of the line waiting to turn by barreling up on the right and then trying to squeeze in on the rest of us who politely waited.) The result, for me, has often meant missing my chance at getting through the light. The temptation I resist every day is the urge to stop being courteous.
After listening to complaints by the team, I’ve offered suggestions at work that I thought would be helpful. My repayment has often been sole responsibility for implementing the suggested changes even though I’m easily one of the busiest people on the team and tend to have the least complaints. The reward for hard work is often more work and everybody wants to complain but nobody wants to make the effort to fix things.
I’m sure anybody reading this can cite similar experiences in which they’ve tried to be kind, helpful or thoughtful and suffered the consequences. It lends credibility to the saying, “no good deed goes unpunished.” I won’t claim that I’ve handled every situation like that with the greatest of poise, but I’ve discovered something interesting. Laughing, rather than shouting, seems to help. I’m a strong believer in karma… not on a paranormal level but on the simply human tendency to attract like unto like. Angry people tend to attract anger-inspiring situations in their lives. Defeatists attract one failure and defeat after another. So too, those who react positively even in the face of frustration or adversity, tend to attract positive situations more regularly.
The next time you do a good deed and pay an unpleasant price for it, rather than cater to the rage boiling up inside, laugh at the situation. Hell, laugh at the ungrateful person. Just laugh. You’ll probably live longer. You’ll definitely live happier and you’ll realize it was worth it anyway. Because, living with yourself is far more important than living by the opinions of others and, if you do the right thing, be kind to others, you’re worth living with… regardless the occasional unexpected outcome for your generosity. Ignore the short-term results. The ultimate reward is not the immediate gratification you do or do not receive for a kind act… it’s the lifetime of positive rewards and people you’ll attract.
Categories: Uncategorized.
Tags: karma, kindness, laughter