Potential and Choice

May 17, 2008

crossroads.gifEver notice what an odd world we live in? I have. I marvel at it every day. I stand in awe of the beauty and majesty of God’s creations around me knowing full well no man or woman could look out over an unspoiled wilderness and not be touched in some way; not recognize the value of preserving it. Then, in contrast, I scratch my head in confusion knowing that same man or woman won’t buy an energy efficient light bulb because they don’t like the color light it casts.

We are creatures of conflicting duality; simultaneously noble and ignoble, caring and unkind, selfless and selfish. The same man who jumps off a bridge to save a drowning woman might, tomorrow, lie on his resume to get a job he does not deserve. We could applaud a woman’s character one morning and find ourselves wishing for her downfall for some illicit act later that same evening.

So we’re conflicted. We’re saints and scoundrels, all of us. But maybe that’s by plan. Maybe we’re in a precarious balance for a reason. Perhaps that’s just the way the universe, and everything in it, is created, existing in one state only for so long before toppling into another state of being depending on variables.

Consider every planet that is in an orbit. A little bit faster and it will spin free to fly off into the void. A little bit slower and it will plummet towards its star. That same star is responsible for the creation of all the wonders in its solar system… the same things it will someday be responsible for destroying.

Every atom in the universe sits in a state of infinite potential. It may become part of so grand a thing as a star, as mundane as the sock on your foot or as offensive as the phlegm in your throat.

Even the universe itself was born into a state of uncertain potential, doomed to expand until every rock, every molecule, every atom and every particle eventually dissipates into nothingness or, potentially, to leap out into a brief and brilliant state of existence, only to collapse again into a common singularity no bigger than a marble but containing every bit of everything in itself.

Potential. At the heart of it all is that single world. But just as important is the word “choice.” What differentiates us from the planets, from the rocks, from the universe, stars, atoms and molecules is that we are capable of thinking about potential - of making choices that can decide what aspect of our potential we will fulfill (or fail to fulfill).

Will you allow yourself to become frustrated at gridlock traffic or will you turn up the radio and sing along to your favorite song - simultaneously choosing the potential for a positive day and possibly influencing a positive day in those witnessing your carefree indifference to the delay?

Will you let your life be ruled by fear, choosing a safe but wholly uninteresting life or will you accept that you’ve got one shot in this world and might as well make the most of it?

Will you surrender or fight? Will you live on your knees or on your feet? Will you accept failure as a lesson or let it defeat you? Will you earn what you want in life or spend your life complaining about the lack of handouts? Kind or cruel, honest or dishonest, helpful or hurtful?

Potential and choice. You are the master of your life - the only mortal, living being who truly gets to decide what happens, how it goes and how you respond to those things that are beyond your control and, ultimately, the only one responsible for those choices. Whether you believe a divine being placed you in this universe or it all happened by chaotic happenstance, the end result is still the same.

This is your life. These are the circumstances. The potential is limitless. Infinite. What will you choose to do? What kind of person do you choose to be? Your potential awaits.

Categories: Values and Ethics.

Tags: , , ,

Community Kindness - Love, Loss, Loyalty and Compassion

April 20, 2008

 I’ve mentioned my wife’s website before which was inspired by one of our rescue dogs. Among many great offerings, Bunny Roo Beagle also features user-contributed rescue stories from all over the world about dogs who have found loving homes and how they came into their good fortune. The rescue of Sophie will be on the front page. You can find archived rescues here. Her most recent story was contributed by Jodi and Scott and focuses on Sophie, a pup rescued by local Wildlife services and adopted by these wonderful folks. That alone is more than kind enough to warrant a feature story here, but what I found particularly inspirational is the tale that led to Sophie’s adoption.

Before Sophie, there was Sammi - Scott and Jodi’s Brittany spaniel. I will let Jodi tell the story of how Sammi disappeared one cold December day because her touching tale certainly doesn’t require a clumsy re-write by me, but I do want to focus on what happened shortly after Sammi’s disappearance. In the days and weeks following their loss, Jodi and Scott found help in the form of “…a quilting group who drove around searching for Sammi after their Sunday meetings, a pastor who announced our information to his congregation, garbage and utility vehicles that had copies of our flier in their vehicle and the head of the school transportation department who put fliers in all the country school buses.” Even a vet who went out of his way to spread the word about Sammi (and who eventually introduced the family to Jodie) joined in the search.

It never fails to inspire me to find that such community spirit is still alive and well in the world. There are people who will still go out of their way to be kind and help their neighbors and their kindness is rarely motivated by any potential self-gain but is inspired by affection, empathy, faith and sympathy. We should, all of us, keep our eyes open for opportunities to help our neighbors. Don’t just brush by the lost pet fliers hanging on the mailbox. Stop and read. Pay attention to those who surround you and think of ways you can contribute to making their lives a little bit better in whatever way you can.

What follows is Jodi’s story in her own words. And it would not be kind were I to fail warn you that you might want to grab some tissues before you click on continue reading - Continued…

Categories: Inspiration.

Tags: , , ,

Be Kind to Yourself - Take a Nap in a Sunbeam

March 13, 2008

sunnap_web.gifI average 4 hours of sleep a night. I average 1 migraine every 2 weeks. Study results are still out, but I’m beginning to suspect a correlation. I was averaging 2 migraines a week until I conceded defeat and started taking a nap after work to try to make up for that sleep deficit. If you work for a large company in the US and aspire to success, you’re likely suffering sleep deprivation as well. It’s all too common here and linked to everything from weight gain, elevated accident rates and a multitude of health problems. The advice is always the same - get more sleep. I liken it to a doctor advising you take it easy, reduce your stress and take some vacation right in the middle of a critical time-crunch at the office. Great idea, Doc. I’ll get right on that!

The sad truth is that too many of us sacrifice ourselves in the pursuit of a successful career and, all too often, it isn’t selfish stupidity. From supporting a family to preparing for the next market bust, accounting scandal or over-taxed social security system, many Americans feel they have no choice but to push themselves, quite often, into an early grave.

So if it simply isn’t practical to reduce your stress or go on a vacation, let me recommend a nap. Tell your family to leave you alone for an hour. Unplug the X-box and force the kids out of the house. Then find yourself a nice sunbeam and catch a snooze. You might not be able to recover all the sleep you lost but in lieu of a day at a spa, it’s at least one little way you can be kind to yourself.

Categories: Health.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Why Toxic?

March 5, 2008

web_biohazard.jpgWhat can I say? I like a good juxtaposition more than normal especially when the words contrast as much as kindness and toxicity. But the real reason is that killing with kindness is going to be a driving theme on this blog so ToxicKindness isn’t as off the wall as it seems.

If you walk away with something from this site that results in somebody in your life saying about you, “He (she) is just the nicest guy (gal),” then I feel it’s been worth the hassle of trying to figure out how to get this site up in the first place. Yes, I’m a web noob and yes it’s been challenging. Then again, most worthwhile things in life are challenges.

So go ahead and sicken somebody with courtesy. Kill em’ with kindness. Nauseate them with niceness. Contrary to popular belief, decent behavior hasn’t gone out of style. For all the cynicism in the media, there’s still a feel-good out there waiting for you to discover it.

Categories: Uncategorized.

Tags: , , , , ,

Why Kindness?

March 5, 2008

LilyI gave a lot of thought to what I wanted to blog about and then followed up with a lot of research. One piece of advice kept resurfacing in my research – write something about which you’re passionate and, while I have a lot of interests, my feelings run very deep when it comes to the way we treat each other. There are just not enough people out there killing one another with kindness. Toxickindness.com will focus on fundamental “goodness”; on ethics and morality, citing real world events in politics, media, entertainment, business, sports and just about any other genre. My goal is to push this as a karmic portal to inspire myself and others to do good in their communities and to try to do the right thing whenever possible.

Ethics will be a driving theme in this blog because I truly feel that ethical behavior naturally inclines a person towards good behavior, not just “right” behavior. At the heart of ethical behavior is common sense. The dearth of ethical behavior in the world leads me to believe that common sense isn’t quite as common as it should be. We’re routinely inundated with celebrity misbehavior, politicians misleading their constituents, athletes failing to live up to their obligations as role models and scandalous business practices. I want to shine the spotlight on those who don’t play by the rules and celebrate those who do; whose great fortune is transcended by their willingness to behave kindly.

I’ve found that people have different opinions about what is ethical and what isn’t and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the topics I cover. I think it’s really interesting when a subject is polarizing and love to try to get to the bottom of why one side feels the way they do in contrast to another side. I’ll promise to try to be thick-skinned if you promise not to be too brutal in your comments. Remember, everybody has an opinion and the world would be a pretty dull place if we all saw eye to eye all of the time. No reason to be blatantly abusive, though… that wouldn’t be kind.

Categories: Uncategorized.

Tags: , , , , , , ,