A Lesson in Perspective

April 15, 2008

2195701_low.gifI’ve been griping about work lately. Why not? It’s been rough. It’s gotten rougher and the outlook is for it to get rougher still. But the truth of the matter is that I have little legitimate cause to complain and it took a visit to the local convenience store yesterday to make me realize what a shameless moron I really am. It was an opportunity lost but a lesson I’ll carry with me that, when you get right down to it, how we live our lives is really all about the perspective we chose to take.

I was second in line and the gentleman in front of me was chatting up the cashier who seemed completely confused by his gregarious nature. Among other things, he actually thanked the woman for her smile! And I, purveyor of pleasantness, kindler of kindness, advocate of amiability that I am, actually thought the following thought, “man, that’s over the top… less chatter, let’s pick up the pace.” You don’t need to point out the hypocrisy. The host of a blog on kindness actually thought such thoughts? Yes I did. I hang my head in shame.

Let me further paint the picture that I was in a hurry to get home from another miserable day at work. Let me also point out that I’m paid well, am in reasonably good health, have a great life outside of work and really want for nothing (other than a less stressful job and a less crazy neighbor). I chose to let a bad day make me a less-than-good person that day.

The nice guy in front of me would best be described as rode-hard-and-put-up-wet. He looked like life had dealt him a less than fair hand. He was excessively short of stature, prematurely aged by sun, seemed dangerously thin and relied on a cane to walk. He also lacked good peripheral vision as evidenced by his sudden realization on turning his head slightly that I was waiting beside him for my turn to pay. But when he did notice, an amazing thing happened.

This man, who for all appearances looked like he had legitimate cause to be grumpy, beamed me the warmest smile you’ve ever seen, apologized for holding me up and told me, “I’m just so happy with life I get caught up in the small-talk sometimes.” His face literally lit up and transformed my impression of him from somebody whose life has been full of hard knocks into somebody who makes the world a better place in which to live. I envied the guy his positive spirit. Idiot that I am, all I could think to say in return was, “No worries. Take your time.” A few seconds later he was out of my life and a great opportunity was lost.

This gentleman, in the few minutes he occupied my little sphere of existence, taught me to never judge a book by its cover, find the positive, live for the now, don’t sweat the small stuff and to recognize the people who pass fleetingly through our lives as having worth, merit, dreams and ambitions beyond the context of the moment. In a few seconds, he passed on a wealth of values and lessons and I wasted the opportunity with, “No worries. Take your time,” rather than, “thank you for being such a positive inspiration. Here’s my card. I’ll be writing about you on my blog so that the world will know there’s folks like you out there.”

Should you ever stumble across this post, sir, I give you my thanks. For the lessons, certainly; but mostly just for taking the time to make the world a better place to live for the cashiers and grumpy office workers whose lives you briefly touch and transform. God bless you.

Categories: Inspiration.

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Be Kind to Yourself - Change Your Perspective

April 1, 2008

web714402_low.jpgIt’s interesting what a change in perspective can do for your outlook. I came off my third consecutive 70 hour week at work last Friday wanting nothing more than a quiet, stress-free weekend at home with nothing to do and absolutely no obligations to take me away from, well, doing nothing. That’s not how things worked out as I’d already promised to attend the big Pet Expo, needed to write some advance content for my blog, wanted to update my other website and assist my wife with her site. In addition, 3 consecutive 70 hour weeks of work equates to precious little free time to keep up with housework so there was a list of honey-dos in desperate need of catching up on. I won’t lie about it…, I was NOT pleased.

I accomplished most of my intended projects, though I did miss out on a chance to shoot some pictures downtown with a friend. The problem is I found myself going through the motions and getting the job done with precious little enthusiasm and a constant grumble in the back of my mind. This is no way to end 3 weeks of hell, I found myself thinking. What about some me time to end the week on? Even two shows that usually serve to inspire me, Oprah’s Big Give and Extreme Home Makeover, were studiously watched with notebook in hand as little more than research material rather than serving to perk me up with evidence of kindness in humanity. They were little more than projects. It hit me in the last few minutes of Big Give, as I headed to the refrigerator, that I was thinking about everything all wrong.

See, my frame of mind was that here was more work on the end of a very tough series of weeks. All it took was changing perspective. Last week ended on Friday. Yeah, I know… they call it a Weekend, but that doesn’t mean I needed to think of Saturday and Sunday as the latter two days in a bad week. Instead, I should think of them as the first two positive days in a week that’s just begun! What a difference it has made in my outlook!

I now see last Saturday and Sunday as two days in which I’ve prepared content for Toxic Kindness in advance, tidied up the house and my home office so I have something nice to come home to at the end of my day, redesigned my other website so it’s better for my audience and gathered great inspiration for future posts here. What a great way to start the week! I went into Monday feeling like I was ahead of the game rather than less rested than I’d rather be. Even though it was a drizzling, dumpy kind of day that usually doesn’t lend itself to a positive outlook, I made it through just fine.

Remember, your own outlook plays a huge part in how your day goes. Smile at yourself in the mirror in the morning and tell yourself it’s going to be a great day no matter what. Even faking a big grin causes the release of happy chemicals in your brain and taking the time to convince yourself of a great day ahead first thing in the morning inclines your mood in the right direction. This may or may not be another 70 hour week, but if it is, so what? I’m ready to tackle it and I already finished 3 days of it strong!

Categories: Health.

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