With another episode of The Big Give right around the bend, I thought I should take a minute to address the lesson I took away from the last one. I’ve taken to watching The Big Give with a notebook in hand, jotting down the activities of each contestant and recording my thoughts. There were plenty of touching moments and one particularly surprising incident in which Sheg goes to perform a random act of kindness and discovers the intended recipient just lost her daughter two hours before he arrived. But the most poignant moment for me came in the last minutes of the show.
Stephen, whose last task involved cleaning up Elephant poop at a local zoo, found himself concerned that he needed to do more. His task felt weak and he was legitimately concerned that it wouldn’t be enough to keep him in the running. So he tacked on another task and volunteered at what I believe was a half-way house for, among other things, recovering addicts (sorry, folks, nature called and I missed exactly what the facilities function is). While cleaning dishes, he found himself paired up with a down-on-his-luck gentleman; a recovering addict. The two chatted amicably while they worked and Steve listened attentively as the man related his story. It ended with the man expressing gratitude - not for money (none was exchanged) but simply for the kindness and respect Steve had shown. It turns out the best thing Stephen could do for the man was treating him as an equal and seeing past his addiction to the person behind the story.
As I pointed out in my previous post, there’s more to people than what you see on the surface. There’s a human with feelings behind the boss you consider little more than an authority figure or pain in your tail. There are legitimate feelings and a need to be heard in people you might be inclined to pass off as shallow or two-dimensional. However contrary your life and belief system might be to another individual, there’s something there worth being attentive to…, worth hearing. Oprah’s Big Give taught me that one of the most important kindnesses I can perform is to take the time to listen, take the time to absorb the story behind the person and, most importantly, show them the respect to which they are entitled.