Ever done something kind and had it thrown back in your face? It’s amazing how quickly that can lead to a complete meltdown into rage. A few examples I’ve experienced -
On seeing a car with no visible handicap tags or hangtag pull into a handicap space and the occupants dash to the store I was entering, my friends and I spoke up and politely pointed out their error. The husband flew into a rage and yelled at us, spittle flying everywhere, that his wife (the driver) was a years long sufferer of an illness the name of which I can’t recall. Her reaction was to suddenly adopt a limp and a pained expression that were both conspicuously absent a few moments prior. It seemed they missed the point that somebody was looking out for their rights.
The traffic really piles up leaving my office especially as everybody tries to merge into the too-short turn lanes heading towards the beltway. I routinely leave room to allow a car in when the light changes and I’ve routinely experienced 2-3 additional drivers trying to butt in on the opportunity (this after they dodged the entire length of the line waiting to turn by barreling up on the right and then trying to squeeze in on the rest of us who politely waited.) The result, for me, has often meant missing my chance at getting through the light. The temptation I resist every day is the urge to stop being courteous.
After listening to complaints by the team, I’ve offered suggestions at work that I thought would be helpful. My repayment has often been sole responsibility for implementing the suggested changes even though I’m easily one of the busiest people on the team and tend to have the least complaints. The reward for hard work is often more work and everybody wants to complain but nobody wants to make the effort to fix things.
I’m sure anybody reading this can cite similar experiences in which they’ve tried to be kind, helpful or thoughtful and suffered the consequences. It lends credibility to the saying, “no good deed goes unpunished.” I won’t claim that I’ve handled every situation like that with the greatest of poise, but I’ve discovered something interesting. Laughing, rather than shouting, seems to help. I’m a strong believer in karma… not on a paranormal level but on the simply human tendency to attract like unto like. Angry people tend to attract anger-inspiring situations in their lives. Defeatists attract one failure and defeat after another. So too, those who react positively even in the face of frustration or adversity, tend to attract positive situations more regularly.
The next time you do a good deed and pay an unpleasant price for it, rather than cater to the rage boiling up inside, laugh at the situation. Hell, laugh at the ungrateful person. Just laugh. You’ll probably live longer. You’ll definitely live happier and you’ll realize it was worth it anyway. Because, living with yourself is far more important than living by the opinions of others and, if you do the right thing, be kind to others, you’re worth living with… regardless the occasional unexpected outcome for your generosity. Ignore the short-term results. The ultimate reward is not the immediate gratification you do or do not receive for a kind act… it’s the lifetime of positive rewards and people you’ll attract.
